wheregendergoestodie:

hello!!

if you are the friend or loved one of a person with bpd, i have a suggestion for you that will be game-changing for your relationship and i swear make things way better for both of you

acknowledge them before you go away

whether you’re going to bed or to work or to go socialise or ANYTHING, just give them a simple “i have to go do thing, i’ll prolly be gone about this long but i cant promise, i love you and you are important.” it will only take you a few seconds and it will really help ease the abandonment fears a lot so that they feel a lot better and also arent texting you constantly or exploding sadfeels all over you when you return. 

its just a small validation that they matter enough to you for you to be aware of their feelings and want to alleviate their distress. my partner has gotten really good about it and in turn i have felt validated enough to be a better partner in return.