Tag: ecosynchronous

clarify if you wish to ♥ **gives tea**

Yay tea! Well we had a conversation last night via Skype to catch up and he was going to teach me some Japanese, which resulted in him, my roommate, and some what my boyfriend all gaining up on me with sexual jokes and harassment about me not wearing a shirt (I was in my bra) and the like and then my roommate freaked out over it being messing and started yelling and I literally cannot handle people yelling at me it’s an instant panic attack. That one wasn’t so bad, I was able to calm myself somewhat before it got too far so I was ok, but with me even little panic attacks takes days-weeks for me to recover fully.

So fast forward to today where he says he doesn’t want to Skype because he’s feeling like as asshole today so I called him out on being an asshole last night, being as the biggest thing being as when I tried to explain non-binary gender he literally could not get past the idea that sex and gender are different things plus the harassment and everything else (oh and not to mention him telling me I shouldn’t have just my bra on because I should take into account my boyfriends feelings {which he also doesn’t care and knows it’s my body I can do what I want with it})

And so he goes and flip shits on me telling me agender doesn’t exist, I’m not some special flower I’m a confused teenager yadada identity crisis “I’m a horrible cishet white male who claims to be a feminist and an ally to get laid and because I know a lesbian.”

I responded with just fuck you and he goes off again about me trying or be edgy or some shit.

And so of course my body hasn’t fully recovered from the panic attack I already had to my body just goes into complete shut down from being yelled at and invalidated by some I used to really trust and really love (he was my first love actually) and I had to spend two hours just to regain control of moving my body let alone stop crying and snotting everywhere.

I’m just kinda numb right now, I might screen shot what he sent me at some point, oh hey and have I mentioned how many times he’s threatened me with rape? (including corrective rape for my asexuality) because you know, it’s all in good fun and just a joke. I have decided I am never talking to him again and if I do ever have the misfortune of seeing him again I’m probably going to punch him in the face. I’ve defriended him on Facebook and I’m only keeping his number in my phone so I know now to text back if he tries to contact me.