chance-the-napper:

honeybpd:

if you’re reading this post you’re already off to a wonderful start with helping your borderline friends! it can be hard for us to admit we need specialized attention, and you going out of your way to learn how to help us is amazing. here are some simple things you can do for us (and the reasoning behind them)

•enthusiasm! borderlines have very black & white thinking, meaning if we aren’t positive you’re happy with us we will assume you are angry. really simple things like exclamation points and smiles can go a long way!

•let us know when you’re going to be hard to reach! this one is pretty self explanatory, and if you’ve read any other post of this sort i’m sure you’ve seen this, but it’s important! we are terribly scared of you abandoning us so let us know that you aren’t and that you’re just busy. (we’re kinda like those dogs that freak out and destroy the house when their owner leaves because they think they’ve been abandoned)

•reassurance! we will rarely come out and ask for this one out of fear of being labeled a “manipulative borderline,,” but if you take anything from this post it’s that your bpd friends need to be reassured that you care about us as much as possible. we usually lack emotional permanance which makes it hard for us to believe you still love us, even if you told us a few days- or hours- before.

•don’t get angry over our impulsive behavior! if we aren’t getting the attention that we’re desperate for, us borderlines will most likely do an “attention seeking” and often self destructive action in order to gain attention. you should definetly express your concerns and etc. over the behavior, but please don’t act angry. that will often lead to more impulsive thoughts on our part

•don’t show annoyance over us apologizing a lot! we constantly feel like a burden since we can’t handle things “"normally”“ this will lead us to apologize constantly (and apologize for apologizing) please just tell us it’s alright or that we don’t need to worry about it.

•if we start acting cold, don’t stress about it! this one is more for the friends or fps of us borderlines. a lot of us do what is called “splitting” where we will swap from idolizing you to hating you very abruptly. it is completely temporary!! we still love you!!

•compliment our appearance! complimenting our personalities can be tricky, since we have such a hard time thinking for ourselves. a lot of people with bpd are obsessed with their appearance and changing it, so compliment us occasionally!

•random affection! people with bpd are usually so worried that they are manipulating affection out of people. you telling us sweet or reassuring things without us initiating it is appreciated beyond belief. keep in mind we frequently don’t know how to react to things, but i promise we will be so happy.

disclaimers:
~i don’t speak for the entire bpd community!! you should ask your borderline pal if these things apply to them if you aren’t sure.
~i’m not trying to tell you that we need a certain high level of attention or nothing, we know that you have problems to deal with too. just knowing you care and recognize our illness enough to read this post is amazing and relieving.

@a-universe-called-evan