Church: Yeah I hit them. I’m pretty good with a gun, actually.

What Church actually means: Then I fired again. And then I missed. And then I fired. And then I fired, and I missed. I missed both times. and then I fired, and I missed. This went on for several hours. and then I fired. and then I missed. And then I was out of bullets. And then I got sad. I had a popsicle. And then I passed out in the snow. And then I woke up. and then I reloaded. And then I fired. And then I missed. I missed again. I fired. I hit something, but it wasn’t what I was going for, so I guess I missed. I passed out again. Had another popcicle. I had a dream that I was firing at something. I missed. Oh, so she can pick a snowball fight with ’em. I threw up a snowball at ’em. I missed. I packed another snowball into my gun. that’s my secret weapon. I missed. yeah, she’s really something. I threw a snowball at her. I missed. I passed out. I woke up with a popcicle stick in my mouth. don’t piss me off woman. I’ll take a swing you, I’ll miss though. I guarantee it. Then I’ll take another swing. And I’ll miss. Then I’ll have myself a popcicle. Would you care for a popcicle? Just don’t bring it into the sauna. I reached into the fridge for another popcicle. I missed. I got the cabbage. I put it back, but I missed. I dropped it on the floor. Long story short, I missed.

Hey, Tumblr! You want anime that…

okappas:

Has Powerful Leading Ladies –

Has Main Characters With Dark Skin

Has Androgynous Characters

Has Trans characters that are NOT comic relief/fetishy

Has Canon Queer Characters (not in specifically yaoi/yuri anime)

Is Based off of Japanese stories/folklore/literature

Has Girls Playing Sports

Messes with your head

Has White Haired Boys That Aren’t Komaeda/Kaworu/Akise/Clear

Has Unique Art

Is “For kids” but has a lot of depth –

Has Cute Girls Doing Cute Violent Things

Is About Humans + Nature

Is So Tragic It’ll Destroy Your Ass

americanninjax:

darrencalvert:

People often say to me: “You draw like some kind of inhuman machine.  If I eat your brain, will I gain your power?”  The answer is yes, but there is another way.

The key to precise drawing is building up muscle memory so that your arm/hand/fingers do the things you want them to do when you want them to do them.  Teaching yourself to draw a straight line or to make sweet curves is just a matter of practice and there are some exercises you can do to help improve.

If you’re going to be doodling in class or during meetings anyway, why not put that time to good use?

I really need to do these more. I almost never practice the muscle memory exercises.

I really wanna do a Fairy Tail RWBY AU but team names are hard. Team LGEN/LEGN (legend) for Lucy, Gray, Natsu and Erza.

But Rogue, Sting, Yukino and Minerva would be a perfect team but they’re names don’t match up very well?
RSMY
RSYM
RMSY
RMYS
RYMS
RYSM
RMYS
RMSY
SRMY (stormy?)
SRYM
SMRY
SMYR
SYMR
SYRM (serum?)
YRMS
YRSM
YMRS
YMSR
YSRM
YSMR
MSRY (misery?)
MSYR
MRSY
MRYS
MYRS
MYSR

…..I still have no idea lmao.

Reasons Why Tumblr LGBT Is Acephobic Trash and Why I’m Pissed

millenniumfae:

* Y’all point out the very real problem of American LGBT communities being extremely gentrified, cissexist, and misogynistic, but in some twisted round-about turn of logic, you blame it on ace people like that makes any sense. Ace people are affected by the whiteness of the LGBT community the same as anyone else, but it’s us being kicked out as a collective. 

* You relate our sexual identities to non-sequiturs like kinksters and sexual predators in what’s probably the most ironic reach of the fucking century, and then convince yourselves we’re either completely unradical/perpetuating the norm, or too radical/political. Whichever justifies your actions.

* You act like we’re some Tumblr-borne trend who’re trying to cash in on whatever secret cakewalk the LGBT community is throwing, and act like we’re not talking about sexual education, protection against sexual abuse, and community for sake of mind and personal growth/healing. Yeah, we’re trying to steal all your raffle tickets, yeah that’s real ace agenda.

* You completely step over the opinions of trans sga poc aces when we don’t support your nasty acephobia. You can’t shut us down with accusations of being transphobic if we’re trans, you can’t call us homophobic if we’re sga, you can’t call us racist if we’re of color, so people like me are just straight up ignored because you’re all weak

* You’re incredibly invasive of our private lives; acting like you know exactly our individual ace experiences, literally rating us depending on how you interpret our unique struggles, describing at length just how easy it is to ‘refuse sex’, and act like you aren’t aware of the high percentage of abuse survivors within the ace community.

* You minimize our experiences, often to extremely violent levels. Sexual abuse becomes ‘just regretting it’. Developing illnesses/destructive tendencies because of invisibility turns into ‘whiny st8s trying to be oppressed’. Being proud and content with our identities turns into ‘arrogance and trying to be a special snowflake’. 

* And even if you do acknowledge it, you outright refuse to listen to the words of survivors, and actually try to convince us that the heteronormality/queerphobia we faced was do to something else, and not our ace identities. You’re willing to talk over our voices because it conflicts with your bitterness. 

* You act like there’s a canonical queer experience, and in the same breath simultaneously accuse the ace community as being largely a western/privileged concept. And the irony flies straight over your head. 

* You try to erase our language (multiple times), saying that ‘allosexual’ is a ~bad word~ because it implies privilege (when it really doesn’t), and then completely sidestep similar words like allistic/able-bodied/binary even though they follow the same principle. Don’t be so transparent.

* You’re literally lifting language from other radical exclusionaries, and it’s so frustrating it’s almost funny. Being asexual exclusionary is a purely political move, and there’s nothing you can do to deny it. 

Ace/aros are part of the LGBT community. Pass it on.

birdmombeck:

egobuzz:

egobuzz:

egobuzz:

canada’s pride and joy is a

doughnut shop named after and founded by a hockey player in the 1960s 

for all you non-canadian’s who think I’m exaggerating: 

  • “Tim Hortons holds 62% of the Canadian coffee market (compared to Starbucks, in the number two position, at 7%) 
  • “Canadians eat more doughnuts per capita and have more doughnut outlets per capita than any other nation“ 
  • “The company [Tim Hortons] opened twice as many Canadian outlets as McDonald’s and system-wide sales also surpassed those of McDonald’s Canadian operations as of 2002”
  • “The chain accounted for 22.6% of all fast food industry revenues in Canada in 2005.”

There are 6 of these places at my (relatively small) university, 2 of which are in the same bulding

I worked in an oilfield camp that had a Tim Hortons.

For the kitchen witches!

lunarsunshine:

Barley – Money, sex

Buckwheat – Money

Corn – Spirituality

Lentil – Peace, tranquility

Millet – Money

Oats – Money

Pretzel – Protection

Rice – Sex, money, protection

Rye – Love

Tortilla – Protection, spirituality

Wheat – Spirituality, fertility, protection, psychic awareness

Birthday cake – happiness, good luck, wishes, spirituality

Wedding cake – Fertility, good luck

Cookies – Good fortune, happiness

Pies – Spirituality

Artichoke – Protection (For additional protection combine with garlic and bay leaves)

Asparagus – Sex

Beans – Money, sex, wealth (Combine ginger and chilli with the beans for more power)

Beetroot – Love, ambiance, beauty

Broccoli – Protection and power (Works well with basil and mustard seeds)

Sprouts – Protection (For extra protection mix with basil and salt)

Cabbage – Protection and love, magical rituals (Add dill for extra power)

Carrot – Sexuality the libido (Add parsley for powerful results)

Cauliflower – Protection (For greater effect add mustard seeds and rosemary)

Celery – An aphrodisiac, sex, psychic awareness (Adding celery seed to foods stimulates psychic awareness)

Chilli – Protection

Chives – Protection

Cucumber – Healing

Eggplant – Money

Endive – Sex (The endive enhances sexual desire)

Leek – Protection

Lettuce – Peace and money

Mushroom – Psychic enhancement

Olive – Spirituality

Onion – Protection keep evil away

Peas – Love (Cooked with basil, dill and marjoram to intensify the power)

Potato – Protection (Season with rosemary, parsley and chives for powerful protection)

Pumpkin – Money, healing

Rhubarb – Love

Soy – Psychic awareness, protection

Spinach – Money

Sprouts – Psychic awareness

Sunflower – Success

Sweet potato – Sex, love

Tomato – Love, protection

Truffle – Sex

Watercress – Fertility, protection

Apple – Health, love

Apricot – Love

Avocado – Love

Banana – Love, money

Blackberries – Sex

Blueberries – Protection

Cherry – Love

Citrus – Strength

Cranberry – Protection

Date – Spirituality

Fig – Money, sex, power

Grape – Dreams, money

Raisin – Fertility

Grapefruit – Cleansing

Kumquat – Money

Lemon – Love, happiness

Lime – Purification

Mango – Love, protection

Apple – Money, love, sex

Mulberry – Fertility, psychic awareness

Nectarine – Love

Orange – Love

Papaya – Love, cleansing

Passion fruit – Peace, harmony, love

Peach – Health, wisdom, happiness

Pear – Longevity

Persimmon – Love, happiness

Pineapple – Healing, protection, money

Plum – Sex, protection

Pomegranate – Creativity, fertility

Prickly Pear – Protection

Raspberry – Protection, love

Strawberry – Love

Tamarind – Love

Tangerine – Protection

Watermelon – Healing

Allspice – Healing

Anise – Love

Basil – Money, protection, love

Bay leaf – Psychic awareness, protection, healing

Black pepper – Protection

Caraway – Sex, love

Cardamom – Sex

Chicory – Love

Cloves – Money, protection, love

Coriander – Love, sex

Cumin – Peace

Dandelion – Psychic awareness

Dill – Conscious mind thoughts, money, love

Fennel – Strength, protection

Garlic – Health, protection

Ginger – Money, love

Horseradish – Protection

Licorice – Sex, love

Marigold – Protection, happiness

Marjoram – Peace, harmony, love, tranquility

Mustard – Protection

Nutmeg – Psychic awareness

Oregano – Happiness, peace

Parsley – Money, sex

Peppermint – Healing, sex

Poppy – Fertility, love

Rose – Psychic awareness, love

Rosemary – Conscious mind, love, healing

Saffron – Spirituality

Sage – Longevity

Thyme – Psychic awareness, love

Turmeric – Purification

Vanilla – Sexuality, love

Honey – Health, sex, love spirituality, wisdom

Sugar – Love

Chocolate – Love, money

Carob – Love, money

Maple syrup – Love, money

Almond – Healing, money

Brazil nut – Love, money

Cashew – Money

Chestnut – Conscious mind, love

Coconut – Psychic awareness, spirituality

Hazelnut – Wisdom, fertility

Macadamia – Money

Peanut – Money

Pecan – Money

Pine nut – Money, love

Pistachio – Love

Sesame – Fertility, sex, money, protection

Walnut – Protection

Salt – Psychic awareness, protection

Vinegar – Protection, purification

Noodles – Longevity

Fish – Freedom, harmony, sex

Crab – Protection, aphrodisiac

Shellfish – Psychic awareness, sex

Sushi – Psychic awareness, health

Tea – Money, courage

Coffee – Mind clarity, energy

Eggs – Protection

Milk – Love

Butter – Spirituality

Yoghurt – Spirituality

Cheese – Goals

Ice cream – Blueberry – Protection

Ice cream – Pecan – Money

Ice cream – Cherry – Love

Ice cream – Chocolate – Love, money

Ice cream – Coffee – Conscious mind

Ice cream – Cookies and cream – Money

Ice cream – Macadamia – Money

Ice cream – Neapolitan – Money, love

Ice cream – Peach – Love happiness, wisdom

Ice cream – Peanut butter

Ice cream – Peppermint – Healing

Ice cream – Praline – Money

Ice cream – Strawberry – Love

Ice cream – Vanilla – Love

heres some cool flash games in case youre bored

thegeminisage:

emir-dynamite:

kulekrizpy:

coolkid8000:

you wanna be a dragon??? well have i got the game for you

haunt the house and get your ghosty home back

a cool space kid and his alien??? thing??? go on adventures

a game about moving on [tw for death, implied animal death, and loud noises]

a sea monster and the world around it

its called sushi cat do you even need more than this

a creepy post-apocalypse game where you protect the last plant on earth

its like animal crossing but less cool graphics and everyones a bunny

congratulations youre in charge of a bunch of rollercoasters

a werewolf goes on a pleasant nighttime stroll [tw for violence and blood, all of it very cartoony and animated though]

a cool 8bit dungeon platformer with cool video game music

a pretty adventure game where you find the treasure to save your village

help the worms get into their holes and light up mushrooms

Some of my favorites:

Cursor*10  – little game where you have several “lives”. you use your cursor to navigate the floors, and when the time runs out, you go back to the beginning. however, the previous cursors will go through the same path they made before, thus allowing you to get further each time.

Daymare Town – creepy point and click game. very inky, interesting drawings. you have to find your way through (or perhaps out of) Daymare Town, which is inhabited by obscure prickly people.

Grid Game – there are a bunch of little circles. click one, and watch it rotate and set off a chain reaction. mindless distraction game.

Samsara Room – a strange escape game where you’re stuck in one room but pass through different dimensions to get out

i saw her standing there – zombie love story. super cute. there’s a sequel too.

Feed the Head – more like interactive art than anything. there are several different things to do in this game.

Factory Balls – a bit of a puzzle game. you have to paint a bunch of balls to match the model shown, using various options and paints. 

Grow Nano Vol. 3 – one of my favorites of the Grow series. you have to click the options in the right order in order to make the sick person feel better. this one just warms my heart.

make sure to click the tags to find more games by the creators and companies and the rest of the games in the series!!!

I find Tonypa’s games to be simple, unique, and enjoyable.  A lot of them involve patterns, colors, and matching, so they’re very calming as well.

some from me!!

deep thinking games with exploration themes…

6 differences – a pretty cool find the difference game that’s very atmospheric and somewhat soothing in the first levels, mostly takes place at night around a city, features sound effects and music and even moving cars down the highways. content warning for some surrealism and acid-trippy effects in the later levels (a person with a deer head, some kind of alarming music, the level’s walls moving as you look for the differences, etc – sometimes the level changes after you find all but one clue, and in one instance a train goes by rather suddenly and loudly, but it didn’t make me jump and i am sensitive to jump scares)

i can hold my breath forever – a game about exploring underwater caves in search of a friend. some references to drowning!

i wish i were the moon – short and sweet game about two people and a moon! clone things and move them around to get different endings :3

small words – a soothing platformed-style exploration game that lets you uncover different maps/pictures as you walk around

don’t look back – a creepy game based on the myth of orpheus and eurydice, this is a platformer-style game that has you going to the underworld to get your lover back. very atmospheric, but a slightly creepy atmosphere that (of course) references death, so take care

alight in dreams – during a dream you get wings, and explore the dream to find out about the history of a person who has never dreamed before. mentions death and suicide.

a house in california – explore an old house and learn its history, very atmospheric. can be a bit confusing for some, you may need a walkthrough.

silent conversation – a soothing game that makes levels out of passages of classic books; you win by toughing every word. not my preferred reading material, but the way the levels are built kind of force you to drink it all in stead of speeding through it. 

games that are a bit creepy…

prior – you, a little box creature, wake without your memories in an unknown place. you must explore to find your family and figure out what happened before you woke. a dark game with multiple possibilities – can be a little creepy.

immorTall – an alien makes friends with a human family after crashlanding to earth. defend them as long as possible!

loved – a dark sort of game where you go through the levels deciding if you will choose to obey the voice giving you orders or defy it. in some casing obeying makes things easier, but in other cases the voice asks you to make things hard on yourself – throwing yourself onto spikes so you have to start over, etc. sometimes it is almost impossible to do what the voice asks. (serious warning for emotional manipulation, just to be safe – the question at the start will purposefully misgender you depending on your answer, and continue to do so throughout the game, but, depending on your actions, will then correct the mistake at the end.)

one chance – a kind of dark game; in the impending apocalypse you have one chance to decide what to do with the rest of your life. there are many endings, but you really do only have one chance…refreshing the page will not let you play again! content warning for death,suicide, impending doom, hopelessness, etc

every day the same dream – another fatalistic game with multiple endings, but this one allows you to find them all. same warnings as the one above.

elude – a metaphorical representation of depression. dark melancholy levels, nice atmosphere, but can be a little moody.

symon – you play as an elderly man stuck in a hospital bed. you sleep to dream and relive your past. this game is pretty much endless and features endless combinations of the same tasks, to reflect what that sort of life might be like. cw for death and end-life blues.

now for some lighter ones…

pizza king 2 – i found this sim where you run your own pizza shop weirdly addictive. food cw, of course, and it’s the only sim on here because they usually aren’t my thing, but, well.

boomshine & obechi – two colorful games where a well-placed click will start a chain reaction and see how many points you can collect!

filler – a similar concept to the ones above

music bounce – release bouncing balls to hit platforms to get the perfect rhythm!

dropsum & dropsum colors – math games where you combine numbers to eliminate them. you can choose where to drop the numbers, turn the board, and use powerups! (dropsum colors isn’tloading for me rn, but it might for you)

first person tetris – you spin with the tetris blocks! fun for pros, but it can make you dizzy.

flash tron – a recreation of the original tron game as seen in the movies. here you can play with others online!

dolphin olympics – super fun game where you swim and do tricks as a dolphin to score as many points as you can in two minutes. there’s also a freeplay mode. if you jump high enough, you may even see the moon ouo

mirror’s edge 2d – i adore the 3d version of this game for ps3, but if you don’t have access, you can play the mini/2d version. no real story, but it’s a very challenging game with rad animation!

bubble tanks tower defense – pretty fun tower defense game that doesn’t get old too quickly.

bloons – i started playing the tower defense game, but they’re all pretty fun and complex. scroll down a bit and click any of the ones under “bloons games”

elephant games – a sort-of series with gems like “achievement unlocked” & sequels (where there is no objective except to complete all the achievements) and “this is the only level” (where you go through the same level many different ways). you grow to be quite fond of the little guy. :’D

some of these i haven’t played in awhile! i pulled from my bookmarks, because i used to spend all day curating links to these things. if i’ve missed a content warning PLEASE feel free to contact me about it or add it yourself!

Tutorial: plastic keychains

kaiami:

I know a ton of you have been waiting for this one. Teaching you to make your own plastic keychains!

To start off, I think the biggest question everyone has is what I use to make them. I work with shrink film. You might be familiar with Shinky Dink brand shrink film as a kid. I use Grafix brand white inkjet shrink film. The inkjet kind is relatively pricey compared to the regular kind. If you’re using regular, I don’t recommend you stick it in your printer. Sharpie markers would be good for that.

image

Alright, now open up the file with the images that you’re working with. Make sure your images are a lot bigger than you want your finished product to be since they shrink significantly.

image

You’ll also want to lighten the opacity to about half. I go somewhere between 50-60%.

image

Now print your image out! I’ve found that it works best for me when I have it at the plain paper setting, and standard print quality.

image

Holepunch with a ¼" holepuncher BEFORE you shrink them. It’s so much more work to have to punch holes when your plastic is thick!

image

Cut out your design, leaving the amount of border you want.

imageimage

Set them on a tray for convenience. An aluminum foil sheet works too, but I recommend cookie trays because they are easier and quicker to get out of the oven.

image

Preset heat. Your shrink film package will tell you what temperature to set it at, but I find that it isn’t always accurate for me. I generally set temperature to 350 degrees or so.

image

Put them in the oven. Remember to keep track of time! I leave them in for about a minute and a half.

image

After time is up they should be super small! Magic!

image

If your charms are not flat, put something heavy on it right out of the oven when they are still hot and malleable.

imageimage

If you’d like to, you can seal them now. In my last two batches, I used clear topcoat nail polish. The problem with that is that I need between 3-5 coats of it, and it takes a while to dry. I’ve been experimenting with modpodge.

image

For lariats, you can use jump rings or lobster clasps.

image

Here is one that I made that wasn’t sealed. The finished texture after shrinking is a little bit rough. There’s nothing wrong with leaving them unsealed, but because they are inkjet printed, the colors wash right of without protection.

image

This is one that was sealed with modpodge. The colors become a little more vibrant and smooth and water resistant. Things often get stuck on when applying or drying so be careful.

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These ones down here were sealed with clear nail polish. They come out shiny if you put enough coats, but the grainy texture will still be there.

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Well, there ya go! Have fun making your own keychains!